Current mood:	thoughtful
Current music:	Splender - I Think God Can Explain

It's odd how we go through various phases. It'd been so long since I actually curled up with a book. I think the last series that really got me was the Song of Fire and Ice series by George R. R. Martin. I tore through that one relatively quickly and I'm waiting on the next ones. This one is turning into something similar.

If you're not familiar with the Anita Blake books, you might take a look at them. Guilty Pleasures is the first... and there are like 13 atm, so there's plenty to sink your teeth into. There's also another series by the same author that I haven't touched yet, but I've heard it's pretty good. Will have to play with that some after I wrap up the Anita Blake books.

I'm on book 12 now. Just started it today, but still... I don't know, it's odd. The first ones have a much different taste and pace than the latter ones. The plots were gradually changing over time, snowballing... but it really seemed like there was a big shift in the way the books were done from 8 to 9. Not bad, just different. A part of me liked the style of the early books, though.

Of the books I'd read before, I'd probably say the Black Jewels trilogy was the closest to this. It's not exactly the same by any stretch, but there's definitely a similar feel.

Maybe it's just ashtari's infatuation with them, but I find myself somewhat tempted to write a story set in that world. Perhaps I will, once I've finished the next two books. I'd like to have a full view of it before I start trying to play in it. We'll see.

Going to be doing some writing for work, actually. Just documentation, nothing fancy... but writing in general is a good thing, I think, so that'll be nice. Have quite a bit of information from experience and training and I'd like to get it in a centralized place so that it can be used by others if necessary... of course, just asking me works too, but yeah. We'll see.

We've started trying to be more healthy I suppose. Eating fruits and such for snacks. It'd been a while since I'd had an apple, and they're really quite good. The strawberries are ok, but I could definitely do without the raspberries. Oh well, more for Jes I guess. Brought a banana to work today, so that's a plus I suppose. Also have been trying to get out and do more physical activities. I enjoy sitting at the computer and playing games and chatting with you guys, but it's kinda nice to go curl up and read or go out for a walk with Jes or what have you. Having a bit of variety every now and then and the like. Also planning on doing some swimming this summer... even signed up for a swimming "class"... mostly so there's a scheduled time for us to go do it. As an added bonus, since I'm taking a "class" there, I get access to all of the gym facilities at the campus. We'd tried to go up there once together, but since I couldn't do anything it kinda cut down on how much time either of us spent there. Hopefully having the access will be a good influence on us and we'll go up there more.

I need to get back into shape. I've let myself slip quite a bit, and I really don't want to continue to do so. Think I might go for another walk tonight when I go home.

I saw a picture of jupitertear's daughter today in her journal. She looked so cute, and I feel so bad for not being able to be closer and share in her life and help out. I'm so glad Ali was able to have this and I hope so much that it turns out well for her. It kinda sucks that she ended up going back to the wrong side of the country, though :P Beginning to despair keeping any of you over here.

I don't know, I don't know what I want from life sometimes. I mean... I don't feel like I'm lacking... I feel pretty content, all told. But sometimes I wish I had more direction. Ah well.

I wore a sweater today. Typically I wear dress shirts, not sure why I chose the sweater today. Probably mostly because I didn't feel like screwing with finding a dress shirt to wear and whatnot. I'm somewhat regretting it, though (as I knew I would). It's not that cool in here and the sweater is pretty warm. Wishing I could go pop back into the server room for a few, but don't have access to it without escort and really don't have a good reason to go back there. Ah well. Maybe I'll go outside and get some fresh air or something.

I don't know, I just am not sure where things are going to go. I know the picture... the idea that we'll stay here for a while... get comfortable in my job, progress, get Jes through school... but I don't know if it'll happen or not. In some ways, I just don't really feel settled in my position. I don't know.

There's a lot I don't know, I suppose. I just really haven't thought about things too much recently. I need to keep moving, need to keep doing what I'm doing... in a lot of ways, I guess I don't feel like there's much to think about. I'm where I want to be, I'm content, why stress about reasoning or anything like that? Just keep moving forward. Sometimes I get really tired of this job. Sometimes I don't want to come in. This morning was one of those times... I just really wasn't motivated to come in. I'm not entirely sure why. Didn't sleep well last night, maybe that's part of it. Just really would rather have stayed home. I need to get better about not being so tempted by that feeling. I'd really rather not even have that feeling. I need to come in, I need to get much better about doing the things that need to be done when they need to be done. What can I say? Self-discipline has always been a challenge for me and I'm still working on it. I think I'm getting better, but we'll see.

I keep saying "we'll see" and I'm not sure why. I guess I'm in a bit of a transitional phase here. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm pretty settled where I am and not a lot's going on to change... unless you count the wedding preparations. That'll be a bit of a change. I mean... it will and it won't. In the greater scheme of things, I suppose there's some change... but for day-to-day things? I already live with Jes, I love her, in all the ways that really matter I guess I think of us as married... it's just going through the paces so that everyone else can see it, can "celebrate" it, etc. I still kinda view the wedding ceremony itself as being more for the family and friends than for the bride and groom. The honeymoon, though... that's more for us. Definitely looking forward to that, too.

Ah well, things I need to get done. Gonna go start working on them some more. Just wanted to put some of this in writing and out there. I hope everyone's doing ok and hopefully I'll feel like writing more later. I kinda miss writing in here. Guess I'm just not sure who's listening anymore.

There's a lot of things I understand
And there's a lot of things
That I don't wanna know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you
To look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get over it yet